I’ve spent most of my life trying to save myself. In essence, I was trying to earn my own salvation by filling my heart with various things. Things that I thought would satisfy my hunger for joy, purpose and significance. Time after time, I turned my back on God, blamed him for my present injustices, and just keep searching for something else that would serve my needs. No matter how hard I pushed God away, he kept coming back. He kept injecting my life with people who lived in the light, people who reached out to me time after time, and stayed true to God’s works. I kept resisting, but He kept pulling me in.

There are so many things out there and all around us that rob our joy and steal our dreams away. I don’t want to be dramatic but we are under attack by our fears every day. They kill our dreams, take away our happiness, and would do anything to destroy our lives if we gave in enough. Until this past summer, I took on those “attacks” with my own will, grit, and perseverance. In my eyes I was becoming pretty successful and pretty significant. I started thinking my success could determine my happiness and be a catalyst to the good life.

Each time I ponder the depths of my mental toughness, I like to imagine what it would be like to swim across an entire ocean.  After fully exerting my physical capabilities, and maintaining my composure throughout calm and choppy seas, there would be an inevitable juncture where I would reach my breaking point and succumb to the swirling tides beneath me.