“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5)
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and He will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)
The source of so much of our anxiety, fear, doubt, and anger is the result of leaning on our own understanding. It’s easy for me to give God 60%, 70%, or even 80% of my trust but when embracing uncertain paths ahead that last 20% is always difficult to let go of. To be honest that last bit I hold onto is typically spent anticipating problems, planning for every obstacle ahead, and striving for control. It’s this pattern of thinking that holds us back from wholeheartedly giving ourselves to the Lord and experiencing life at it’s fullest.
God wants us to offer ourselves as daily sacrifices. Each day offering our worldly desires and sinful nature. For me I would say pride, and unforgiveness would be offered up first, daily!
We must be driven by God's mercy, and trust & be guided by his word & truth. Our hearts want to believe lies, so it's crucial we are saturated in God's word. We were given a gift when we were still sinners, when Jesus lived the sinless life and died for us. He offered up the ultimate sacrifice for us when we didn't deserve it.
My story, like every human story, is at least in part the struggle between faith and fear. Fear will never go away. We tend to seek a world of comfort. We try to construct manageable lives with some real security and predictability to maintain the illusion that we are in control. Trust and fear battle for the human heart. Eventually one or the other will win. Winning the Olympic Trials was a chance of lifetime, and it was not to be taken lightly. I knew in my heart that God was calling me far beyond my spiritual comfort zone. And for me to truly follow Jesus I had to deny Comfort as the ultimate value for my life. Fear and growth go together like Peanut Butter and Jelly, it’s a package deal.
I’ve spent most of my life trying to save myself. In essence, I was trying to earn my own salvation by filling my heart with various things. Things that I thought would satisfy my hunger for joy, purpose and significance. Time after time, I turned my back on God, blamed him for my present injustices, and just keep searching for something else that would serve my needs. No matter how hard I pushed God away, he kept coming back. He kept injecting my life with people who lived in the light, people who reached out to me time after time, and stayed true to God’s works. I kept resisting, but He kept pulling me in.